Your Sexual Health and Wellbeing Matters. A program of The AIDS Network: serving Hamilton, Halton, Haldimand, Norfolk & Brant

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Five HIV Statuses, Plus a New One


That awkward negotiation before imminent encounter with a sexual partner met on mobile apps, online or at a bar often includes a brief health information exchange about HIV. Health educators recommend discussing HIV status before sexual encounters. Disclosure could lead to safer sex, more relaxed rendezvous and enhanced intimacy.

While in recent years having this conversation has gotten progressively easier for all parties involved, in many cases the exchange ends up being a useless formality made of insensitive questions (“Are you clean?”), superficial acronyms (“DDF?”), and uninformative answers (“I’m good”, “Yeah, clean”, “Neg”, “Poz”, etc.).

To have a meaningful conversation about HIV status, people should corner intentions and sexual partners in the realm of actuality, by keeping it to-the-point and asking the following questions: “When did you last test for HIV? What was the test result?” Equally important is to open minds to reality by remembering that the time of binary HIV statuses is pretty much over.
I can count five HIV statuses, plus a new one. They entail different responsibilities, possibilities and risks.

Let’s review them on a continuum from the safest to the problematic ones.

“I’m HIV positive, undetectable.”
People in this group clearly know their status. They take HIV medications every day and see a medical provider regularly. The amount of HIV virus in their blood is suppressed below the threshold detectable by available tests. An undetectable viral load greatly reduces the likelihood of HIV transmission. News coming from the Conference on Retroviruses and Opportunistic Infections in Boston highlighted the encouraging results of a recent study: HIV positive patients on anti-retroviral treatment who are virally suppressed did not transmit HIV to their negative partners.

“I’m HIV negative. I test regularly. I always use condoms.”
Folks in this group use HIV testing and counseling as a form of prevention. They test for HIV on a regular basis (for gay and bisexual men the recommendation is once every 3-6 months). They use condoms consistently and correctly. While condoms don’t provide absolute protection against any sexually transmitted infection, it has been repeatedly demonstrated by laboratory and epidemiology studies that their use is highly effective in lowering the likelihood of transmission.

“I’m HIV-positive. I don’t know what my viral load is.”
Not only an undetectable viral load reduces the risk of HIV transmission to negative partners, but viral suppression improves health outcomes in positive patients. Unfortunately only 25 percent of HIV positive people living in the United States are virally suppressed. The remaining 75 percent are not linked to medical care, were not retained in care, are not on medications or don’t adhere to their treatment as prescribed. As a result, they are more likely to infect their sexual partners. There’s a silver lining in this group: people who are HIV positive and not in treatment at least know their status. Knowledge gives them the chance to protect sexual partners and possibly come to terms with the barriers that keep them from accessing treatment.

“I don’t know my status.”
Among the 1.1 million people in the U.S. who are HIV positive, approximately 20 percent do not know their status to begin with for all sorts of reasons: fear, stigma, they honestly believe they are not at risk, et cetera. The truth is that all sexually active men and women are at risk for HIV. CDC recommends HIV testing for everyone between the ages of 13 and 64 at least once as part of a routine medical visit. Some of these folks are well aware they should get tested for HIV and hopefully they will test soon.

“I’m HIV negative.” (Or at least he thinks he is).
Some of the “neg” guys out there belong to this troublesome group. At some point they tested negative for HIV. Months or even years later they believe their status hasn’t changed. They proudly assert it left and right. They may even have condomless sex with other self-proclaimed “neg” men (a harm reduction technique called sero-sorting). Sexually active people who uses condoms inconsistently and don’t test for HIV regularly cannot call themselves HIV negative. Many may be uninfected indeed, yet among them there are those who belong to the 20 percent of folks unaware of there their HIV positive status. The lack of knowledge laying on a faulty sense of awareness is an aggravating issue for this group.

Lastly, there’s a sixth HIV status. It’s recent, exciting and increasingly more visible. It belongs to the top of the continuum we reviewed.

“I’m HIV Negative on PrEP.”

People on PrEP take a daily dose of the HIV medication Truvada to reduce their risk of becoming infected. In addition to the high level of protection provided by the treatment, these men and women see a medical provider regularly, just like people in the first group. According to guidelines, they routinely test for HIV and may use condoms for added protection, just like people in group two.
It doesn’t get safer than this for sexually active people.

What’s the conclusion? The same one that public health advocates reached and preached for decades: know your HIV status. If you are negative, avoid infection by using all available protections. If you are positive, seek treatment.

By knowing your status and act accordingly, you contribute to the ultimate goal of controlling the epidemic.

Asking “Are you clean?” doesn’t help anyone.

Follow Renato Barucco on Twitter:


Cleaning out your hole before sex. Check out this great vid from the New Zealand AIDS Foundation!

Calling all Older & Aging men.

Too many of us are being diagnosed with HIV.

Since 2001 men ages 40 and up have represented the

largest group of newly infected individuals in the Hamilton Area.

We responded to the AIDS Epidemic.

Lets work together again to halt HIV in its tracks.

For 2 weeks once again The AIDS Network: serving Hamilton, Halton, Haldimand, Norfolk and Brant will open its doors to the community of gay, bisexual and any other men who fuck men and offer free anonymous, rapid HIV testing.

This is testing by and for the community.

Gay & Bisexual men young and old have a shared history of HIV, activism and responding. This is about reconnecting with sex, health and community.

Share it  #ageisnotimmunity


Communication in same sex male relationships

In many ways, same-sex male relationships face the same issues as all intimate relationships.

However, there are some concerns that are specific to same-sex male relationships, or are experienced in different ways.

Whatever the gender of the partners involved, it is important to discuss emotional issues on an ongoing basis.

Issues to consider

  • One or both men may not have ‘come out’. Some men are not ‘out’ at all. Others may not disclose their sexuality in particular aspects of their life (e.g. at work, to certain friends or family members). In such situations, a discussion of how this will impact on the relationship is important. When discussing this, it is essential to come from a point of respect and understanding. A person who is not out may have chosen to do so for a variety of reasons, including professional, cultural, political or social.
  • If you or your partner is involved in the gay scene, a discussion around your level of involvement may come up from time to time.

Below are 10 tips to being a better partner

Relationships are at the core of our lives.

Relating to others can easily be a mixed bag of excitement, fear, anticipation, elation, struggle, closeness, dread, intimacy and loneliness. Relationships are dynamic and ever-changing.

In a positive relationship, both partners feel valued, loved and nurtured. To get the most out of your relationship, consider the following tips on being a great partner:

  1. Develop a sense of trust – that is feeling that you can both be seen, heard, understood and accepted.
  2. Recognise that physical closeness is only one expression of intimacy. Intimacy can be verbal (e.g. telling your partner why you love them or things that you love about them), and it can also be expressed by doing special things for your partner or generally helping out with daily living tasks.
  3. Acknowledge each other’s need to be autonomous and to make your own decisions sometimes.
  4. Create a safe and open place, where you can both express problems, doubts, fears and weaknesses without fear of rejection or punishment.
  5. Be willing to communicate. This often includes sharing feelings, needs and wants. Note: Listening to your partners problems does not necessarily mean you are responsible for solving them.
  6. Be open to negotiate around your differences with respect and generosity. You are not going to get your own way all the time.
  7. Aim to be aware of personal issues you bring to the relationship (sometimes called ‘baggage’), and take responsibility for these. Also be aware of the expectations you may place on others and assess how realistic they are.
  8. Regular time alone gives you space to recharge and rebalance. This will allow you to give more in your relationship in the long-run.
  9. Maintain and build a supportive network of friends outside the relationship. No single relationship will meet every need.
  10. Develop the capacity to not take yourself and everything else too seriously.

Source: Men’s Line Austrailia


Also known as anilingus.

What is rimming?

Rimming is exploring someone’s ass with your tongue, including licking the asshole and maybe pushing your tongue inside. A ‘rimming stool’ is a specially made chair that lets someone sit with their bare ass accessible to the rimmer, who lies underneath the seat.

What’s the attraction?

As a warm-up for fucking, rimming can relax or tease the asshole, getting it used to being probed before it takes a finger or cock.

With lots of nerve endings in the asshole, being rimmed is a treat for many and rimming can be a signal of intense closeness. Part of the thrill is breaking the taboo we’re brought up with that says the ass is dirty and shouldn’t be played with, let alone licked. Rimming, and the breaking of such strong taboos, plays with the power dynamics of degradation and submission: “kiss my ass” is a powerful way of calling for someone’s humiliation.

Although some men prefer a freshly washed ass to rim, others find the taste and smell of a sweaty arse crack adds to the thrill.

Things to know about rimming

If someone has no infections, having your mouth on their ass poses little health risk if you’ve got a normally functioning immune system. But if either man has cuts in their mouth or in or around the ass then there can be a risk of infections spreading including, in theory, HIV, although the actual HIV risk is minimal. Hepatitis C can be spread in blood if rimming happens after heavy assplay.

Even without cuts, rimming can much more easily pass on sexually transmitted infections (such as gonorrhoea), but especially hepatitis A, gut infections and parasites.

Hepatitis A

This virus causes inflammation of the liver. It’s found in shit and only a tiny amount needs to get in the mouth for the infection to be picked up. Rimming, fingering, fisting, fucking or touching ass or used condoms or sex toys can all spread it.

Hepatitis A is only life threatening to the elderly or those with other liver problems (including hepatitis C). All the same, hepatitis A can make you very ill for weeks or months.

Gay men are at increased risk of getting it but can be vaccinated.

Gut infections

Gut infections include threadworm. These are harmless, short, thread-like worms that cause itching around the arse hole. They can be seen on your shit and are easily treated with non-prescription powders or tablets from the pharmacy.

Other infections are caused by parasites (like giardia or amoebas) or bacteria (such as salmonella, E. coli or shigella). Symptoms can be bad (maybe bloody) diarrhoea, stomach cramps, farting (gas) and weight loss.

Some gut infections can be very hard to get rid of, especially if HIV has weakened your immune system.

The following can reduce the risk of picking up these infections:

  • Cutting out rimming or doing it less and with fewer men.
  • Washing hands after ass play and anything involving contact with shit.
  • Wearing latex gloves for fingering or fisting and condoms for fucking.
  • Rimming through a barrier (cling film, condom cut into a square or dental dam).

Source: Hard Cell (UK) – adapted

Questions about PrEP?

Check out this animated video! (US made)

Source: My PrEP Experience

PrEP means Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, and it’s the use of anti-HIV  medication that keeps HIV negative people from becoming infected. PrEP  is approved by the FDA and has been shown to be safe and effective. A  single pill taken once daily, it is highly effective against HIV when  taken every day. The medication interferes with HIV’s ability to copy  itself in your body after you’ve been exposed.


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